I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
