Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
