Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
