listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
