I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Come see our sink grown plant.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
