i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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