I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
