morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
