So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
