There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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