I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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