I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
