i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
