i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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