i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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