shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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