bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
