i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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