Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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