He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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