You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
