I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
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