yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Randomize
