Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
