His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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