i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
