I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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