I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
