Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Randomize
