I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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