i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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