Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
