I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
