I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
