There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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