D3 body, D1 cock
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I need water and some morals
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