holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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