I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Randomize
