seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize