On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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