I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
