I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
