Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize