Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
