how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
