I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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