I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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