there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
