dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
