They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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