Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
