are you still at the devil's house?
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Randomize
