what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I think people are normalizing furries
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
