i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
she peed on how many people?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
