you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
