What a fucking waste of an outfit
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
We talked him into tasing himself.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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