Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
