Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
it hurts more in the daytime
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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