As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Randomize
