I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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