U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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