weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
