rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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