How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
