You're so nebulous sometimes
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Welp...herpes.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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