why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
