what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Randomize
