we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
