My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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