This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
