I smell stomach acid.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
