I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
