you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
